Tuesday, October 01, 2002

I remember Ralph Womanslayer well. He was eventualy taken down by a group of enraged, drunken lesbians. This is absolutely true. I, however, posess the only perfectly unblemishished record in our football history. You see, I hate sports. Sports? Hate 'em. (Except rasslin! Man Howdy I luuuvs me some rasslin!) But after much ridicule from friend and foe alike, I decided to be a part of one of their little games. So I enter the game, and about ten seconds in I find myself holding the ball! (Apparently no one was aware I sucked.) I turn and begin pumping my little legs as fast as I could toward the end zone. By Gawd TOUCHDOWN!!!! This, for me, was unprecedented, having always been the one to hear "Coach, do we have to take HIM?" I felt invigorated. I felt validated! I felt about two hundred or so pounds of Roland Tester slam into me with the force of an angry redneck who just got his 4X4 scratched. My head hit so hard I wouldn't be suprised to see a divot in the ground there to this day. Yeah, you knocked the living crap out of me, but you were TOO SLOW Tester! I then retired from football, with the ONLY perfect record in our group. One interception, one touchdown. Yes, I rule. Heed Spam.
Spam is good. Spam is wise. Spam makes an excellent party dip.


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home