Wednesday, January 07, 2004

Subject: How do you tell the difference between
Democrats, Republicans and Southerners?

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife
and two small children.
Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife
comes around the corner,
raises the knife, and charges at you.
You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert
shot. You have mere
seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?

Democrat's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the
question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever
done anything to him that
would inspire him to attack? Could we run away?
What does my wife think? What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock
the knife out of his
hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into
it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind
of message does this
send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be
content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my
family get away while he
was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise
taxes, have a paint and
weed day and make this a happier, healthier street
that would discourage
such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with
some friends for a few
days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican's Answer:
BANG!

Southerner's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click...
(Sounds of reloading.)
Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving,
what do you kids think?"
Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it, too."
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click.
Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the
Winchester Silver Tips?"

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