Thursday, February 12, 2004

Another Brilliantly Artistic Post

Well gosh I thought I felt my ears burning.
Phil youve got nothing to apologize for. In case you havent caught on yet, we ENJOYED pulling your chain. Defying the "evil vice-principal" was part of the fun, and you were just so S-E-R-I-O-U-S all the time it was really hard to resist. ("Listening Room" my ass) James wants to make this into some kind of tragedy..."We knew you...we TRUSTED you..." sob sniff pass the hanky Jethro...but the simple fact is...well...we were just fuckin with ya, man! On the night in question...I had downed some sort of mystery nerve pills and yamo and I were sharing a bottle of really cheap tequila...I remember Webb Wilder was playing, but my memory gets kind of fuzzy after that...I remember seeing double...the band played a song I liked...ironically, I wasnt trying to mosh ("slam dance" ...havent heard that in a while...) I was just too wasted to stand and I jostled some rednecks table, spilling his beer...he promptly responded by breaking the empty bottle over my head...I remember hitting the floor, and then at least three Phils looking down at me sternly, and shouting...something..."You guys need to relax..." I may have thought or said or mumbled...Phil helped me up and began hustling me towards the door and there suddenly was James in between us, and Phil was shouting something about getting along fine without us and gosh wasnt James a good friend for valiantly defending me from...something...and there was a lot of chest-bumping and attitude slinging and it amounted to nothing more. The next thing I really remember was sitting on the curb outside the club combing glass from my hair and asking people what the hell just happened.
As for your comments about Final Curtain in...what was it...the Incest County Monthly Gazette?...you were asked to state YOUR OPINION...you could have said "Final Curtain covers themselves with warm steamy caribou droppings. Thrice daily. In water."... and that would have been a-1 charlie roger hokay with me there, G.I....trust me when I say that nobody remembers that little article, and even at the time nobody much gave half a whistling fuck what any of us thought about anything.
And as for your assesment of me..."brilliant?" "artist?" ...how about..."Nerdy-guy-who-wasnt-talented-enough-to-get-a-decent-band-together-but-wanted-to-suck-up-to-that-crowd-anyhow-because-thats-where-all-the-choice-PUSSY-was-to-be-found". Yep, that about sums it up.
And for the record, I was permanently banned from the Down Home no less than three times.

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