Friday, October 14, 2005

BILL of NON-RIGHTS -- a reminder for "conservatives" (i.e. Bushies, b/c real conservatives would understand this)

(from DU, "derby378" -- brook)

We, the People of the United States, in an attempt to help keep our nation free and safe, restore some semblance of justice, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of honest-to-God liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby serve notice on the spoiled-rotten, whiny, psychopathic, self-delusional, and exploitative neo-conservatives who are working so feverishly to send our beloved Nation hurtling into oblivion and demanding that we thank them for the privilege.

We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of neo-conservatives and FReepers are so confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of NON-Rights.

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to rob any human being in this Nation of their opportunity to seek an honest and satisfying life, regardless of their race, gender, religion (or lack thereof), creed, philosophy, ethnicity, sexual orientation, political affiliation, disability, education, credit score, favorite sports franchise, or fashion sense. If we were to let you neo-cons run things from the get-go, Abraham Lincoln would never have become President. And notice how I said "human being" instead of "person." This is to head off all those corporations that convinced the Supreme Court to treat them as "persons in law" and are using their expanded legal status to defraud the average American. Halliburton, Monsanto, Roche, Enron, and 80% of all credit card companies, I'm talking to you here...

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone, not just you! Democrats have the ability to offend each other at least six times every day, and they still hold together as a viable political entity. What's your excuse?

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to prevent those who have been hurt by another person's negligence from seeking reparations from those responsible for their harm. If a young child's intestines are sucked out in a kiddie pool by a dangerous drainage system, and the guy who installed it knew it was dangerous but didn't bother to install any safety features to protect kids, that guy should not expect the government to protect his ill-gotten wealth from the family of the poor kid. Instead, he'd better file for bankruptcy. Oh, wait a minute - thanks to you, he CAN'T! He'll have to pay off the family's medical bills and compensate them for pain and suffering if he can't reach an agreeable settlement. So much for his summer villa in St. Barts.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to promote "family values" when you can't even define the term. All you have are empty slogans that promote the only ideal family unit as a husband and wife, both white, with 2.2 kids and a membership at the local country club. Families come in all shapes and sizes, and if you have read Steinbeck in school instead of playing hooky, you just might have learned that.

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to deny our children a decent public education. This means that every child learns how to read, write, add, subtract, multiply, divide, speak intelligently, create a basic fire extinguisher that uses carbon dioxide, have a basic understanding of our Constitution and its amendments, explain why fossil evidence strongly suggests that Africa and South America were once connected, develop a healthy and informed understanding of human sexuality, and appreciate their civic duties to such an extent that they prevent you neo-fascists from ever seizing political power again.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to deny the people clean air, clean drinking water, nourishing food, and effective medicine - all of it free from pollution and contamination. This means no "pollution credits," no acid rain, no contaminated soil, no fish tained with industrial mercury, no milk laced with rBGH and antibiotics, no meat that can give the consumer "mad cow disease," and no medications that have been diluted or adulterated in any way. And that's just for starters.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to act like a dickweed when it comes to your right to keep and bear arms. A wife-beater does not have the right to chase down his victimized spouse with a knife or revolver in his hand to "shut the bitch up." Owners of .50 caliber rifles do not have the right to use Mt. Rushmore, the Grand Canyon, or endangered species in the Florida Everglades as target practice. And if you've got kids, they have no business being anywhere near a firearm unless you or your spouse are personally teaching them how to shoot. We have enough Columbines and Jonesboros to worry about without your carelessness adding to the number.

ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. We don't care who your Daddy is. We don't care if you have friends in government. If your resume consists solely of judging fancy horses, that doesn't mean you have the right to coordinate disaster relief as, for example, the head of FEMA. If you want a job, you've got to prove that you're capable of handling it. Sure, we can take risks and give you new responsibilities that test your limitations - that can sometimes turn good workers into excellent workers. But if you want that FEMA job, start small - find work as a paramedic, a firefighter, or something that will get your feet wet. When lives and economies are at stake, incompetence is not an option.

ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to prevent Americans from speaking in any language other than English. May I remind you that the people who built this nation spoke not only English, but also Cherokee, Comanche, Navajo, Hopi, French, Spanish, German, Irish and Scottish Gaelic, Italian, Polish, Nigerian, Senegalese, Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Arabic, and Farsi? This great Nation is still a work in progress, so expect the list to get longer over time.

ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to privatize every damn thing on the planet. Our air, water, wildlife, trees, mountains, rivers, and genetic code are something that neither man nor corporation can ever own. Same goes for Social Security, our National Parks, and our brave men and women in the Armed Forces. Deal with it.

And finally...

ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to deny the people of this Nation honest, free, open, and fair elections. If you make our voting system anything less than transparent, then you are an enemy of the people. We will no longer tolerate ballot box stuffing, rigged or faulty electronic voting machines, corrupt poll officials, or anything that denies Americans the ability to send whom THEY want to public office, not some smoke-filled backroom conspiracy.

If you can't bring yourself to agree with all eleven of these articles, you're free to leave. Good luck setting up your corporate dream state, where everything gleams with sterile serenity and the trains run on time or the conductors get shot. We've seen what happens in the past with such false Utopias, and America is too great to head down that same path to its own destruction.


Anonymous bill said...

I have not been able to find a copy of it anywhere, does the proposed Iraqi constitution so touted by the right wing have in it the right to keep and bear arms? Because with our soldiers over there, I don't think that is such a good idea. On the other hand, we have been told it is a "God given" right, universal to all, with no need of a soverign government to create it.

What say ye?

Friday, October 14, 2005 10:00:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The United States has a bill of rights that is a proven success. Applied universally, it would make a working system of government wherever it is applied. The Iraqi people recognise that and have implemented a system like that. Like the HUGE majority of the middle East they are starving for governmental change and to be welcomed to the 21st century free of the political smothering of Islam. You Democrats have shown, through your own actions that you want to keep the people of Iraq: politically unviable (you dont want them to able to vote).
Politically unstable, you dont want a framework of government (unless a Democrat is in charge)
politically unpopular... meaning you revel in the death of every American servicemember ARMY, Navy, Air Force, Marines. Just so it suits your fantasy that the Republicans are somehow responsible... well, fuck you traitor. the world will tell a differant story.

Saturday, October 15, 2005 8:43:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why are you so afraid of the second amendment Bill? You think somebody is going to bust a cap in your skull for being a fool? It doesn't take a right winger for that... History shows that most of the worlds assasins were leftists.

Saturday, October 15, 2005 8:52:00 AM  
Anonymous Bill said...

Well since I own more guns than your average American, no I am not scared of someone popping a cap in my skull,, although having alot of guns wouldn't stop them. I merely ask if anyone knows if the Iraqi's God given right to keep and bear arms has been protected in this Constitution. Do you know anon or are you just spewing bile? Simple question, does the proposed Iraqi Constitution protect the right to keep and bear arms? Second question, if it doesn't, is it a fundementally flawed document?

Saturday, October 15, 2005 3:31:00 PM  
Anonymous Bill said...

And by the way Anonypuss, how did I become a traitor by standing up for the Second Amendment? It's not like I leaked the name of a CIA agent to the press or anything treacherous like that. And where did any liberal say they didn't want the people of Iraq to vote? Show me, I would love to see you document that.

Sunday, October 16, 2005 8:51:00 PM  
Blogger Strode said...

What happened to talking about washed up J.C. Bands on this blog?

Monday, October 17, 2005 1:17:00 PM  
Anonymous Bill said...

We tried that for awhile but the Dead heads kept comeing around.

Monday, October 17, 2005 7:56:00 PM  
Blogger Robert said...

For Bill:

I won't speak for anon but I have few comments. 1)Leaking the name of a CIA agent who is not a covert agent is NOT a crime. 2)Most liberals that I've talked to wish that Saddam was still in charge in Iraq, and by that alone, it is safe to say that Iraqis would not have the freedom to vote. Hope you're still checking back on these comments.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005 10:30:00 AM  
Anonymous Bill said...


1) You are correct, but Plame was a covert, according to the CIA. So while your point is technically correct, it is wholey irrelevant.

2) Find different liberals. I dare say I know more than you and don't know any that say that. That is no more accurate than saying that most conservative wish for the return of Jim Crow laws since they support the Nixonian "Southern Strategy". Neither statement is accruate, and hyperbole such as yours does nothing to further discourse. It is rather fun to shoot down and reveal the fool behind it for all to see however, so keep up the good work!

Tuesday, October 25, 2005 8:52:00 PM  
Blogger Robert said...


1)That Plame was a covert agent is still yet to be determined. I've read reports that say she was not. We shall see.

2)Nice argument. You don't know anyone like that but I do. So you're either calling me a fool or a liar - way to further discourse. How about this, your national party leader says that women are better off under Saddam. This is FACT. Perhaps this does provide some credit to my statement. But for democrats, they don't ever let the facts get in the way of a good lie.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005 1:47:00 PM  
Anonymous Bill said...

WEll Robert, it looks like the grand jury has decided Plame was a CIA agent after all, I guess you feel pretty stupid now.

Saturday, October 29, 2005 7:56:00 AM  
Blogger Robert said...

Bill: Just came back to this thread and I sure hope you do as well. Please read the indictment. I'm thinking you're the one with egg on your face dude. In fact, go over to to read today's editorial comment on the scooter libby indictment. Oh, it just never gets good for you guys. So sad.

Monday, October 31, 2005 10:31:00 AM  
Blogger Brook said...

breaking -- new blogger spams for traffic.

Monday, October 31, 2005 10:36:00 AM  

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