Sunday, August 13, 2006

I'm Tryin' My Best to Be Terrified, Mr. President ...

(another great post from Nance Greggs over at DU... b)

Dear President Bush,

I am sorry to bother you while you’re on vacation and resting up from all your hard work, but there’s something laying heavy on my mind and the time has come to unburden myself.

I am a good Republican woman, and I want to do the right thing by my President and my Country. So I’ll just speak plain in hopes you’ll understand.

It’s this terrorism thing. The good Lord knows I want to cooperate with my government and be terrified all the time like I ought to be, but I just got a lot on my plate as it is, and there’s only so much worrying I can fit into my day.

I start my morning worrying about my financial situation. I am terrified that I won’t make the bills again this month, or that we’ll end up losing the house. We’ve been borrowing more often than not these days just to get by. I know you say that running up big debts, like the country is doing, don’t matter – unfortunately our bank doesn’t seem to see things in the same light.

I have to stop for gas a couple of times a week on the way to work, and when I see how much the price has gone up since the last time I was there, I’m terrified about how long I can afford to even get to the plant in the first place.

By lunchtime, I am scared to death that my boss is going to walk in and tell me that they’re cutting back again, and me the only source of income for the family since my husband’s place of business packed up and went to Mexico three years ago. Sometimes I shake so hard from the fear of it, I can hardly concentrate on getting my work done.

During the day, there’s other things preying on my mind as well. I’m scared all the time that me or the mister will get real sick, and having no medical insurance we won’t be able to get treatment. I’m scared each day will be my mother’s last, because she’s really taken a bad turn since the pills she needs aren’t covered any more.

Coming home from work at night don’t mean resting easy neither. Since my oldest boy joined up and went to Iraq so he could make some college money, I live in fear of the telephone ringing with the kind of bad news no mother should ever have to hear. And if someone comes by unexpected for a visit, I can tell you that knock on the door is enough to give me a heart-attack right there on the spot.

I used to like to rest a spell in front of the TV and catch up on the news after supper, but the truth be told, I’m more often than not completely terrified by what I see these days. Nothing but bad news about this new war they got going, when I’m already scared out of my wits about the old ones what ain’t close to finished yet and no progress seeming to be made.

I hear about little children getting killed, and I hear men talking about how they gotta keep killing each other no matter what. So that’s just another thing for me to be terrified about, that these men will just wind up blowing us all to kingdom come and I’ll wake up dead some morning never knowing what hit me.

And apparently that ain’t all I’m supposed to be terrified about – like I said, hard as I try, I can’t seem to keep up. Your people keep reminding me that my marriage will fall apart if certain folks are allowed to get married, that democracy as we know it will disintegrate if someone burns a flag somewhere, and we’ve only got a few months left before this War on Christmas thing flares up again and there won’t be a safe place left for good Christians like ourselves.

Now we got elections coming up and is it any wonder people don’t want to vote. We keep hearing that if we pull the lever for the wrong guy, we’re just handing the whole country over to our enemies, and who wants to take a chance like that? It’s not like you even know who’s who anymore either, because it seems the ones we’re told we SHOULD be voting for wind up not being on the ballot anyway because they might have to go to prison before they get a chance to be elected.

By the time I get to bed, Mr. President, I am exhausted from being terrified about all of this stuff, not to mention the pollution what seems to be getting worse, and this global warming thing that I know you said isn’t true, but seems to be destroying crops, and causing droughts, and killin' old folk just the same.

So as you can plainly see, it’s not that I don’t want to be scared witless by those terrorist plots you say are happening all the time. It’s just that I have so many other things to be terrified about these days, I just don’t see how I can fit it in.

I don’t want to sound ignorant, but the other side of this is that I don’t know WHO I’m supposed to be afraid of, and when. Is it Al Qaeda this week, or those Hizbollah fellas? Is it those homeless guys down in Florida who were set on blowing up buildings just as soon as they got the bus-fare together?

I’ve heard that this week it’s that guy what won in Connecticut – but if you could tell me how he figures into exploding bombs on airplanes, I’d be obliged because I just don’t understand the connection.

Maybe if you could put out one of those schedules, like they do for garbage pick-up days, I would at least know who I’m supposed to be afraid of and when. That way, if I do get a few minutes here or there to be terrified about this stuff, I won’t look the fool for being scared of the wrong thing at the wrong time.

Well, I know you must be busy there on the ranch, sitting on the porch and getting some good thinking done about how to get us out of all the big messes those Democrats who are running the country keep getting us into, so I won’t take up any more of your valuable time.

But thanks for listening. I know a good Christian man like yourself will take every word I’ve said to heart.

May the good Lord bless you, Mr. President, just as much as you deserve.

Yours Truly,
Mrs. J.Q. Public


Blogger monkeyfist777 said...

I understand this article was written in jest. But for anyone who believes this nonsense. Stop being such a pussy. The world doesn't owe you a damn thing.

Sunday, August 13, 2006 7:03:00 PM  

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