Thursday, November 27, 2003

happy turkey day, ya'll

Wednesday, November 26, 2003

per the east tennessee [slash] twin peaks simpatico

back when we were doing the beat, john and i went to the train station in bristol to observe some "light workers" present an evening of channeling. i thought we could get a story out of it and was amused john was up for attending such a new age-y jam session.

these "light workers" claimed to have been attracted to bristol and moved from, i think, baltimore -- because they said, the area [bristol] is/was situated on a "lay line," which i suppose is an energetic meridian of some sort. they talked a lot about "vortexes" (or is it vorteses?) and "energy" -- subjects which, when uttered by individuals wearing sandals of any kind, makes my brain switch off as if someone suddenly degaussed my frontal lobe. which is why i never wrote a story about it. i couldn't remember any of the experience.

now that i'm starting to recall bits and pieces, the thing about east tennessee being on a lay line -- or manifesting the world's vibrations -- is suddenly interesting. events occuring elsewhere in the world are eaten up and churned out in east tennessee. our job is simply to decode them. wow. this can be fun.

so, you've got the JC chapter of the kkk edging out michael jackson on news of the weird this week. an initiate is brought down by a bullet fired to symbolize -- what? the shooting of someone (a black man or anyone else deemed a threat) who was just hanged -- these guys are nothing if not redundant. then, the guy lives DESPITE the fact that the bullet traveled thru his head! holy shit!

maybe the "take away" here is a bit about divine intervention -- like our own little burning bush, this episode proves that the most holy one is BOTH merciful and paying attention. merciful because the racist piece of shit was spared his life (sigh, i wouldn't have played it like that). and paying attention, because maybe we might be seeing more of this "new intervention-style" in the future. maybe it's time for some old school god-action. sea parting. loaves. fishes. falafel.

Monday, November 24, 2003

Nice to see you writing again Brook, hope your health is well!

Participant at KKK initiation wounded after shots fired into sky

(i would say something snarky about the Darwin Awards, but really, what's the point -- brook)


JOHNSON CITY, Tennessee (AP) -- A bullet fired in the air during a Ku Klux Klan initiation ceremony came down and struck a participant in the head, critically injuring him, authorities said.

Gregory Allen Freeman, 45, was charged with aggravated assault and reckless endangerment in the Saturday night incident that wounded Jeffery S. Murr, 24.

About 10 people, including two children, had gathered for the ceremony. The man who was being initiated was blindfolded, tied with a noose to a tree and shot with paintball guns as Freeman fired a pistol in the air to provide the sound of real gunfire, Sheriff Fred Phillips said.

A bullet struck Murr on the top of the head and exited at the bottom of his skull, authorities said.

Freeman fled the ceremony but was arrested near his home, authorities said. He was released on $7,500 bail.

Thursday, November 20, 2003

Thank you Tony. That should remind us all of why we do what we do.

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

Will the Surprises Never End???

This just in: Michael Jackson is to be charged with child molestation... who would have ever thought it?

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Things that make me angry....

Brook, here is my list:

Raindrops on roses
Whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles
Warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
Cream colored ponies
Crisp apple streudels
Sleigh bells
Schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad....

I think that is about it.

I see today that Britney Spears received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. All I can say is "'About Damn Time!!!"

Monday, November 17, 2003

Well Rush Limbaughtomy is out of rehab... I can only assume that is some damn liberal's fault,,, probably Hillary's.........

Saturday, November 08, 2003

Gee Brook, did you have to ask for scatilogical anger???

Green eggs and ham PISS ME OFF

Friday, November 07, 2003

more JC as Twin Peaks; stuff that makes me mad is at the end

OK, I'm beginning to believe something's just wrong with the moon. On Thursday (my day off) an FBI agent came to the JC Public Library, investigating something- apparently he wouldn't specify what- that had been done over one of the library's free to the public internet computers. Whatever set the FBI off, they tracked the IP address to the library. I also don't know when this was supposed to have taken place, but I definitely got the impression that it was just within a day or so. Then today the Johnson City Press ran this story, although this dude (well known to us all, we called him "Castro") had not been in the library for some time.

Shoplifting arrest leads to more serious charges

By Chris Garland
Erwin Bureau

ERWIN — Federal agents assisted local law enforcement officers in removing sniper rifles and body armor from the apartment of a man initially wanted for shoplifting DVDs.

Boxes of ammunition, rifles, swords, a black hood, gas mask, rubber mask and pistols were some of the items removed from the 204 Gay St. apartment of Randall Douglas Griffith, 47. Unicoi County Sheriff Kent Harris and officers also found thousands of rounds of ammunition, guns and food rations in the apartment.

Also found were hundreds of books and videos, including such titles as “Contract Killer,” “Guilty by Reason of Insanity,” “Escape,” “WACO,” “Crime and Insanity,” “The Evil Messiah,” “Guide to Uncovering Cemeteries” and “Armed Robberies.” Books on Adolf Hitler, witchcraft and the Ku Klux Klan were also found.

“This proves that you need to follow up on even the smallest thing,” Harris said. “This all started as a shoplifting case where we got permission from Griffith to look for more stolen DVDs in his apartment.

“Griffith was charged Wednesday by the Erwin police for shoplifting at Downtown Video on Main Street. When Officer James White was making the arrest, Griffith opened a knife on him and he was also charged with going armed.”

Harris said a search warrant was obtained to search the apartment for other stolen items.

“We received consent and did find several stolen videos that have already been identified by Downtown Video as their property,” the sheriff said. “Hundreds of videos and DVDs also found are believed to have been stolen and we are asking other area stores to let us know what they have missing to possibly solve some of their thefts. We also found books believed to have been stolen from East Tennessee State University’s library, Unicoi County Library and the Johnson City Library.”

Griffith is expected to be arraigned in Sessions Court today. In addition to the state charges, U.S. Department of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms agents say they intend to seek federal indictments against Griffith for being a convicted felon in possession of firearms and having body armor.

“Griffith has an extensive criminal history dating back to 1976,” Harris said. “He was convicted of felonies in California, and some were violent crimes. He has also been convicted for felonies in at least two other states.”

Harris said the weapons found in the apartment were high quality. “... Only one weapon here could be considered as a hunting rifle.

“There was a sawed-off, double-barrel shotgun and a .270-caliber Smith & Wesson rifle with a scope. These are high-dollar guns. He does not have a job ... He had in cash $2,700 on him when he was booked into the jail. I find that fact suspicious.”
Later today, a racial-epithet slinging match between a black guy and a white guy erupted in the library, which had us all just poised on the brink of dialing 911 and now that I'm home, I had to call the cops on a couple arguing in front of my apartment building. I didn't recognize these people at all. The guy kept yelling at the girl, "Who gave me away? Who gave me away?" He kept getting more and more in her space and when she tried to walk away from him, he threw his arm around her neck in a sort of a choke hold. They were that way when the cops drove up. The cops separated them, kept them on the sidewalk about 50 feet away from each other for a grand total of maybe two minutes, TOPS, then gave the girl about a 10-second head start and then turned the guy loose too. He took off right after her and had overtaken her before they got to the end of the block, crossed the street with her and they both disappeared in the darkness. There were three cop cars parked on my corner and they sat there, with their blues flashing, leaning up against their cars, for at least fifteen minutes AFTER they let these people go. Just yakking. I mean, obviously on a coffee break. I called this in as a heated, threatening-looking argument that I described as looking about to turn violent at any moment, and he had her in a choke hold when they came up. And this is what they did. Maybe she did say to them that she wasn't afraid of him, but that was not what her body language was saying to me. And shouldn't have said to them either. My point is, he had hands on her when they came up, how could they make the determination in that length of time that she was in no danger from him? And they watched him take off right after her, catch up with her and disappear. They had not searched either one of them for a weapon. The cops did absolutely nothing but strobe their stupid fucking lights around the neighborhood serving no purpose whatsoever except maybe to make sure nobody missed the fact that they were cops and to better highlight their ass-scratching performance art piece of leaning on their tax-payer provided vehicles. It was all I could do not to yell out the window, "Y'all need some donuts to go with that, boys?"

Thursday, November 06, 2003

looking for a list

working a scatolgical problem -- need a list of things that makes YOU angry...



Wednesday, November 05, 2003

A girl and a boy were at the back of the theater, kissing passionately.

When they come up for air, the boy says, "I really love kissing you, but do you mind not passing me your chewing gum?"

The girl replies,"It's not chewing gum, I've got bronchitis".

A bunch of Psychology students decide to throw a costume party with a theme: attendees must be dressed as a human emotion. Partygoers arrive dressed as "happiness", "sadness", "anger" and so on. The soiree is in full swing when a man comes in nekkid with a pear on the end of his tallywhacker, shagging away. When asked what emotion he represents he replies, "I'M FUCKING DESPAIR!!!"

This pirate walks into a bar with the steering wheel of a ship sticking out of the zipper of his pants. The bartender says, "Hey, there is a steering wheel sticking out of your zipper." The pirate replies, "Aaarrrgh, and it's driving me nuts."

Monday, November 03, 2003

Two Nuns are riding their bicycles down the back streets of Rome.
One leans over to the other and says, "I've never come this way
The other nun whispers, "It's the cobblestones."

Q: What's green and yellow and eats nuts?

A: Gonorrhea

Q: How do you get an 80 year old woman to yell "FUCK!!!"???

A: Say "Bingo"

Q: What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?

A: A bingo machine