Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Pork Rib Rub

2 Tbslp Salt
2 Tbslp Sugar
2 Tbslp Brown Sugar
2 Tbslp Ground Cumin
2 Tbslp Chili Powder
2 Tbslp Black Pepper
5 Tbslp Hungarian Sweet Paprika
7 Tbslp Hungarian Hot Paprika
3 Cloves Crushed Garlic

Mix well and rub on meat before grilling, smoking, or baking.
The longer it's on the meat before cooking the better the flavor will
be in the meat. I usually try for at least 12 hours, or better yet, 24.

Give anyone any ideas?

Note: this should not be attempted without Bill's Secret BBQ Sauce, known only to me, and Valarie Plume,,,,,

Sunday, June 27, 2004

'Fahrenheit 9/11'

I had the pleasure of seeing the film like many of you and writing a story for the Elizabethton Star, bastion of left-wing hegemony that it is (har har). All of you can check it out (my story) on the Web at tomorrow when the site is updated. In all fairness to myself, I must say my story trumps Sam Watson's (I love you, Sam).

Saturday, June 26, 2004

Fahrenheit 911 comes to JC

Another double fucking standard

The right wing on John Kerry saying "fuck" in Rolling Stone magazine:

"I heard that [Kerry using the F-word] and I can tell you that an educated person who has had schooling, and certainly the senator has, should not have to demean himself and others by using that word under any circumstances." — Jerry Falwell, December 19, 2003

"It is shocking, because these are people who are trying to be the leader of the free world, president of the United States. There's a certain amount of dignity . . . that used to be associated with the office. And George Bush, to his credit, is attempting to return some of that. It really does not reflect well on the Democratic candidates that they're stooping to this kind of language." — Mona Charen, December 23, 2003

"I've known John Kerry for a long time and I'm very disappointed that he would use that kind of language. That's beneath John Kerry and I'm disappointed that he did it." — Andrew Card, White House Chief of Staff, December 8, 2003

"You've got your good friend John Kerry-Dukakis, using the F-word . . . Are you at all embarrassed at these candidates?" — Sean Hannity, December 8, 2003

The right wing on "Dick" Cheney saying "Fuck yourself" to Sen. Leahy on the floor of the United States Senate:

"I didn't hear them." -- Sen. Bill Frist

"I expressed myself rather forcefully, felt better after I had done it," -- V.P. Dick Cheney

hhhhhhhmmmmmmmm maybe we should all try that,,,,


Damn, ya know, I really do feel better!

Monday, June 21, 2004

Speaking of Johnson City Stories,,,

Does anyone know anything about a Union 76 ball walking its' way across town a few years ago?

Sunday, June 20, 2004

1 1/2 pounds London broil (about 3/4-inch thick)

2 garlic cloves, minced

1/3 cup fresh lemon juice

1 tablespoon Greek seasoning

1 tablespoon olive oil

1 (8 ounce) container plain nonfat yogurt

1 large cucumber, peeled, seeded, and chopped

1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice

1/2 teaspoon dried dill weed

6 pita bread rounds

shredded lettuce

1 large tomato, diced

Garnishes: fresh dill, lemon wedges, cucumber slices

PLACE beef between 2 sheets of heavy-duty plastic wrap; flatten to 1/2-inch thickness using a meat mallet or rolling pin.

COMBINE garlic and next 3 ingredients in a shallow dish or large heavy-duty zip-top plastic bag; add beef. Cover or seal, and chill 8 hours. Remove beef from marinade, discarding marinade.

STIR together yogurt and next 3 ingredients. Set aside.

GRILL beef, covered with grill lid, over medium-high heat (300 degrees to 350 degrees) 7 minutes on each side or to desired degree of doneness. Let stand 5 minutes. Cut into thin slices.

PLACE beef evenly down center of warm pita rounds. Top with yogurt mixture, lettuce, and tomato.


Friday, June 18, 2004

Strategic Snark Reserves "Dangerously Low"

Strategic Snark Reserves "Dangerously Low";
Increased Consumption Blamed

Experts report that the United States Strategic Snark Reserves have been severely depleted, and absent new discoveries of snark may run dry within three years.

"Liberal bloggers have been using snark at an exponentially expanding rate, but it's not a renewable resource" said Lawrence Peters, head researcher at the American Blog Studies Group, a liberal think tank. "Once it's gone, it's gone."

Already the shortage has had an impact. Liberal bloggers like Billmon and Josh Marshall have taken extended vacations in recent months to recover; others, like the Washington Monthly's Kevin Drum, have dramatically curtailed daily snark output. Other bloggers have suffered more severely.

"I just couldn't take it anymore," blogger Hesiod probably would have said, had this reporter bothered to contact him or any of the other people mentioned in this story. "It started out bad, even before the Bush Presidency began, and it just kept getting worse."

Hesiod's own blog, Counterspin, was shuttered recently when he experienced Total Snark Failure, known as TSF. "It was awful. I just woke up one day and... it wasn't there. Just nothing."

Blogger Billmon knows what Hesiod is facing. Billmon had an episode of TSF earlier this year. "Luckily, it was only temporary. But it hurt like hell to be shut down."

The long-term prospects for bloggers such as Hesiod are unclear. Snark-related research has been severely curtailed by the Bush administration, and new snark supplies are nearly non-existant. In the meantime, all Hesiod can do is hope.

"I mean, maybe new sources will be found. Until then, I guess my blog has to stay closed."

Anatomy of a Crisis

Snark usage among liberal bloggers reached record levels even before the Bush administration took office. "Dick Cheney conducted a nationwide search to find the most qualified Vice President for George W. Bush to run with," said one anonymous lefty blogger, currently hospitalized for Chronic Snark Fatigue. "And after the whole search, he found Dick Cheney."

"You had people like Karen Hughes standing in front of TV cameras in Florida, demanding to 'count every vote', while at the exact same time Bush lawyers were going to court to stop it from happening." said blogger Atrios. "I mean, what the hell are you supposed to do with that? And in a state run by Bush's own brother?"

Hesiod agrees that the months surrounding the start of the Bush Presidency were the hardest. "The man's name is Dick," he laughs weakly from his bed. "I knew then I was going to have to pace myself, or I'd never get through it."

Hesiod and other bloggers accuse the Bush administration of deliberately exacerbating the crisis by intentionally inflating snark usage.

"The administration is constantly coming up with publicity campaigns designed solely to bleed snark," said another anonymous blogger. "They'll introduce legislation with the most absurd titles imaginable, just to force snark usage to spike."

Atrios points to the "Healthy Forests Initiative" as one of the more egregious examples. "There's no way you can tell me that wasn't named that just to try and take out a few of the weaker liberal bloggers. They knew exactly what they were doing."

Asked whether such legislation is taking a toll on him, Atrios begrudgingly admitted "It does. I try to pretend I myself have an infinite snark supply, but I won't lie -- that was a tough few weeks. It followed soon after 'Clear Skies', and I think that for a lot of the smaller bloggers, it marked the beginning of the end."

While Atrios is among the lucky ones, for now, experts caution that the months before the next election could see the shuttering of many liberal blogs. "There simply isn't enough snark to go around, and it's only going to get worse from here," said Peters. "Some of these bloggers won't make it to the election. Their heads will pop like grapes."

Alternative Energy Sources Explored

Liberal bloggers and blogs rely much more heavily on snark than the rest of the "blogosphere", say experts, and the answer to the current crisis might be found in exploring other, more common energy sources. More rightward-leaning blogs have long ago converted to renewable energy sources; nearly all are currently self-sustaining.

Of particular interest to researchers is Being A Blowhard, a common and renewable source of power among right-leaning blogs. "If we could convert the energy of one Glenn Reynolds or Mickey Kaus to snark, our problems would be solved," one researcher said. "Obtuse Self Delusion is also promising. The question is how to convert it into snark. How do you get from an Andrew Sullivan to something that a Billmon or Hesiod can use?"

Among the most powerful renewable feul sources is Venom-Filled Hate. "But that's nearly impossible to extract. All we're getting out of our test subject is 'Arf. Arf Arf,' and that's a long way from becoming a usable long-term power source."

Researchers warn that none of thier work will be available anytime soon. "It may be that liberal bloggers may have to supplement their snark with other energy," says Peters. "Blend in a bit of these right-wing feuls, as an emergency measure. It won't run clean, and it'll stink like hell, but it may be the only way to get through the crisis."

No Relief in Sight

In the meantime, liberal bloggers cannot expect much relief. While the Bush Presidency is expected to end in January, experts warn that snark will still be needed at record-breaking rates for the foreseeable future.

"I know it won't end in January," says Atrios. "The Republican party will still be controlled by an exterminator, a guy who used to kill kittens for practice, and a guy named after a blue Muppet. And there are rumors of a new Contract With America, something about buying all gay people DVD players if they just agree to have their foreheads branded with one of the Ten Commandments."

"We have to be strong," Billmon sighs. "I don't know if we can do it or not, but we have to at least get through the election."

Hesoid, still bedridden from his own experiences, agrees. "This is too important. I gave it my all, but maybe there's someone out there with a little snark in reserve, who can take my place."

"But we can't just let the liberal blogosphere close down."

No, but really, some excellent blogs here:
Billmon-Whiskey Bar
Daily Kos
Talking Points Memo
This Modern World
Washington Monthly - Political Animal

So Very Lonely...

Where did everybody go? And why am I not there?

Saturday, June 12, 2004

Reagan's Death

Now that the cannonization of Ron Reagan is well underway, it would be rude of me to suggest that the treasury print a 6 trillion dollar bill with his face on it as an eternal memorial to his time in office.... so I won't.

I am wondering if there is a connection between his death from altzimers and Bush jr,'s limiting of stem cell research in the treatment of this ailment,,,, do we have George the II to credit for the death of this american hero? What say ye on the right wing?

Sunday, June 06, 2004

best damn bbq ever

In these historic times there are few things worth writing about. Politics for sure merits keystrokes. But i think we have been neglecting food.

Judge Bean's Texas BBQ in nashville (in Bill's neighborhood, no less)... oh my gawd! i know jane and michael stern ( love Dixie bbq in JC -- a well deserved distinction -- but this is incredible. If you go, get the BBQ Tacos.

Who knew Texas even had a style of bbq?

Don't forget!

Thursday, June 03, 2004

so let me see if I have this right,,,,

ok, so yesterday, it was announced that Bush had hired a lawyer to represent him in the "who outed the CIA agent's identity" investigation,, and today, his director of the CIA resigns,,, and thus far I have heard no one in the media connect these dots....

arcane phrase retrieval

Does anybody remember the origin of "It was that a half a peanut butter sandwich that sent (him/me/whoever) over the edge?" I think it came from an incident at a Dead show, but it also entered my life at the exact same time as "leglessly hairlessly brainlessly" as a catchphrase, so maybe it's a Butthole Surfers thing.