Monday, January 13, 2003

Well, James, a copy of "No Higher Art" rests safe in my clutches, awaiting the day of digitization. Which theoretically I have a computer that's able to do, buuuuuuuuuuuut...I'm having a strike. Btw, that Andyboy vid is beautiful, check it out. I think I wasn't around for those other two events. BUT, I remember the fireflies night...I think. Anyway, there was a party at D&B's place on Pine, and the people across the street were FRAT BOYS, from the House of Pike, no less, whatever the hell that signifies. We had darkened the inside of the apartment and they were shining FLASHLIGHTS at us through the windows, trying to see what we were doing. We all crouched down below the level of the windowsills and watched the beams play around the room, not saying anything, just looking at each other and holding our breath. That Adrian Belew song about the dolphins and whales laughing delight in the deep blue night and having no place to hide from the people of earth was playing. I think I had a nervous breakdown of some kind. All that stuff happened that night after I had figured out that I was the Queen of Heaven. This was in June of...'90, yes, '90. Many months before Brook, Barbara, Jael and Drew had gone to Florida for spring break. I wasn't in school anymore, I had a wretched teaching job, so wasn't able to go. By all accounts it was a marvelous journey of great spiritual significance. Brook came home bouncing with joy. Each of the three ladies had managed to figure out, through a process too dangerous to describe here, which aspect of the divine feminine was hers to personify. Barbara was Venus, Brook was Artemis and Jael was Persephone. Shit, I thought, there's nothing good left for ME. That I wasn't there seemed like the most awful twist of fate ever. What's more, the next day they had found the grooviest glow-in-the-dark crucifixes imaginable, which they had acquired in honor of the ascension. I saluted the achievement as felicitously as any luckless misfit like myself could. Brook went back to unpacking merrily, and Barbara handed me a grooviest possible glow-in-the-dark crucifix and said, "We got you one, too." Now all these many months later, it occured to me that the world was always divided into three realms, heaven and hell and in the middle, earth, and that love was everywhere and could not be confined to just one realm. What this meant was that heaven was vacant, so I decided to move in. There was something appropriate about Jael and I being opposite poles that probably made more sense in those days; besides, blue was my favorite shade of hair dye. And regardless of the drama, nobody got harpooned by a frat boy that night, or any night thereafter.

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