News from Planet Bush

The White House has reversed it's "policy" and now Condee Rice will testify before the 9/11 committee. Of course this policy was that National Security Advisors would not testify before Congress, which is confusing because Clinton and Carter's both did (perhaps they had nothing to hide) and the Committee is not part of Congress anyway,,, oh well, in any event it appears that the White House is ready to present it's final version of the story and we will hear but a few more flip flops on the truth from them on this particular issue.

What bugs me about this story is that the White House has denied being caught unready by 9/11. It takes offense that anyone would say that terrorism was not the main priority prior to the attack. Well, of course it wasn't. Why would it have been? While I fault Bush for alot of things, including not listening to his advisors on the terrorism issue, I cannot beleive that the exact events of 9/11 were anticipated, and the only reason to keep waffleing on testifying before the committee would be that the White House had information that an event such as 9/11 were to happen, and did nothing to prevent it,,,,, .............. wait a minute....... hhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmm

Great News For Rush!!!

The FDA has approved a generic for Oxycontin! Just think of the money Rush could save!

attention walmart shoppers and mr ashcroft: plane jane has a date- live at the casbah. call 911!

yes burt, no anchoives goddamit!

p jhad. so thats how this secret code works. p jhad. no wonder they got pizza pub gigs so fluidly( i mean fluidly too.)

there is but one gawd. thanks bill (3/22 post) for putting this thought in my head.


kicking back, waiting for my reward money...

wtf

DATELINE NOVEMBER 5, 2008 (WASHINGTON, DC) Newly elected President Limbaugh, photographed clutching his alterego/wife, signals his throng of robotic followers at the gala, "EIB! ich EIBEN auf UBER GOOBER!"

ralph nadir (sic) walks in to a club with ann coulter.

two problems solved, with one swing.

Two Republican Candidates

A word of advice to anyone who is thinking about voting for Ralph (The Spoiler) Nader:

Independent presidential candidate Ralph Nader is getting a little help from his friends – and from George W. Bush's friends."

Nearly 10 percent of the Nader contributors who have given him at least $250 each have a history of supporting the Republican president, national GOP candidates or the party, according to computer-assisted review of financial records by The Dallas Morning News.

Among the new crop of Nader donors: actor and former Nixon speechwriter Ben Stein, Florida frozen-food magnate Jeno Paulucci and Pennsylvania oil company executive Terrence Jacobs. All have strong ties to the GOP.

Democrats have warned that Mr. Nader's entry in the race could help Mr. Bush by drawing votes from John Kerry. Some analysts say Mr. Nader's third-party candidacy four years ago siphoned off Democratic voters and cost Vice President Al Gore the White House.

"Republicans are well aware that Ralph Nader played a spoiler role in the 2000 election. And there is no reason why they wouldn't want to encourage and help him do so again in 2004," said Jano Cabrera, a spokesman for the Democrat National Committee.

A spokesman for the Bush campaign declined to comment on Mr. Nader.

"We're focused on our campaign. We're focused on generating support for Republican candidates," said Danny Diaz, referring inquiries about Nader fund raising to his donors.

Republicans who have given to Mr. Nader offered a variety of explanations, including a desire to provide voters a choice in November and to highlight the consumer advocate's issues. Some donors said they were miffed by efforts, primarily Democrats, to keep Mr. Nader off the ballot.

None said their donations were designed to boost Mr. Bush's chances in the fall.

"Did I give $1,000 to Ralph Nader because I hope and believe he will be president? No," said California business executive Charles Ashman. "I don't believe that any more than Ralph Nader does. But I was offended to see this campaign to squelch him from being a candidate."

Mr. Ashman said he remains a staunch Republican. He contributed $2,000 to the Bush campaign, the maximum allowed for the general election, according to records.

"I proudly made a contribution to the re-election of President Bush because I support him 100 percent," he said. "I hope and believe he will be re-elected."

Read the article, but first take some prophylactic Pepto-Bismol. Wouldn't want anyone to puke on their keyboards.

Two Republican Candidates

A word of advice to anyone who is thinking about voting for Ralph (The Spoiler) Nader:

Independent presidential candidate Ralph Nader is getting a little help from his friends – and from George W. Bush's friends."

Nearly 10 percent of the Nader contributors who have given him at least $250 each have a history of supporting the Republican president, national GOP candidates or the party, according to computer-assisted review of financial records by The Dallas Morning News.

Among the new crop of Nader donors: actor and former Nixon speechwriter Ben Stein, Florida frozen-food magnate Jeno Paulucci and Pennsylvania oil company executive Terrence Jacobs. All have strong ties to the GOP.

Democrats have warned that Mr. Nader's entry in the race could help Mr. Bush by drawing votes from John Kerry. Some analysts say Mr. Nader's third-party candidacy four years ago siphoned off Democratic voters and cost Vice President Al Gore the White House.

"Republicans are well aware that Ralph Nader played a spoiler role in the 2000 election. And there is no reason why they wouldn't want to encourage and help him do so again in 2004," said Jano Cabrera, a spokesman for the Democrat National Committee.

A spokesman for the Bush campaign declined to comment on Mr. Nader.

"We're focused on our campaign. We're focused on generating support for Republican candidates," said Danny Diaz, referring inquiries about Nader fund raising to his donors.

Republicans who have given to Mr. Nader offered a variety of explanations, including a desire to provide voters a choice in November and to highlight the consumer advocate's issues. Some donors said they were miffed by efforts, primarily Democrats, to keep Mr. Nader off the ballot.

None said their donations were designed to boost Mr. Bush's chances in the fall.

"Did I give $1,000 to Ralph Nader because I hope and believe he will be president? No," said California business executive Charles Ashman. "I don't believe that any more than Ralph Nader does. But I was offended to see this campaign to squelch him from being a candidate."

Mr. Ashman said he remains a staunch Republican. He contributed $2,000 to the Bush campaign, the maximum allowed for the general election, according to records.

"I proudly made a contribution to the re-election of President Bush because I support him 100 percent," he said. "I hope and believe he will be re-elected."

Among the new crop of Nader donors: actor and former Nixon speechwriter Ben Stein, Florida frozen-food magnate Jeno Paulucci and Pennsylvania oil company executive Terrence Jacobs. All have strong ties to the GOP.

Read the article, but first take some prophylactic Pepto-Bismol. Wouldn't want anyone to puke on their keyboards.

jenna bush walks into a club with a battalion of secret service agents. Her daddy bombs the shit outta someplace else.

(that's it, the whole joke.)

bill gates walks into a club with a baby seal.


(that's it, the hole joke)

A baby seal walks into a club.


(thats it, the whole joke.)

she was a damn good dog

Belle Rest in peace

News from Planet Bush

So, Richard Clarke, former Anti Terrorism chief for Bush has written a book saying that Bush wanted to blame 9/11 on Iraq all along. This book has been enough to send the Bush folks into a hissy fit, and has brought Condee Rice and "Dick" Cheney out to argue this in the media. Rice claimed on CNN that Clarke did not know what he was talking about as "he wasn't involved in most" meetings where such issues were discussed. "Dick" went on the Rush Limbaugh show yesterday and was interviewed by a known drug abusing social parasite, this gist of his position being that Clarke "wasn't in the loop on alot of this stuff."

So we are left with one of two positions to believe;

1) Clarke is telling the truth, Bush set his sites on Iraq without regard to any involvement on Iraq's part in the 9/11 attack, or;

2) The Bush anti-terroism program was developed without the antiterrorism chief being in the loop.

Ya know, neither one of these possiblities is very comforting, in fact, I have to wonder why Bush would want to draw attention to this failure by arguing with it....

Clarke by the way was originally appointed by Reagan, and served thru Bush the first and Clinton, so apparently 3 prior presidents valued his insight and wisdom. Too bad this one didn't.

When you look back on the Johnson City Music Scene.....

You have to think, "Plain Jane has a Date" was one of the best bands there, and perhaps the most artistically significant.

FCC you up the ass motherFCC'er!

post-haste I sense plenty of rancour in the cooter chakra (or Swadisthana; aka: FCC'ing region) of this blog.
I feel somewhat responsible, but not really. I just sorta wanted to make fun of the "if you see Kay" direction we have gone in. maybe we should colloquialize things a bit
and say I was FCC'ed-over by the man, instead of " I was fucked over by the man..." etc...

maybe even howard stern could say "FCC you and the horse you rode in on, FCCing Powell-hole!" and not get into trouble, lenny bruce would laugh and stick up three digits on his left hand and say "read between the lines pataki, 2 lil' 2 late!,
why is the word B U S H not obscene?"

peace to us all. let's turn our collective frown upside down. and in the bedroom arts, not all at once but, one on one, maybe, at least... let's be ameri-cans, not ameri-can'ts.

fuckin' haiku

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

A clarification

I should note that my last bile spewing rant was directed at three groups, those talking heads that are not in fact journalists (if it requires hairspray and mousse to do it then it probably ain't journalism), those print media elitists that won’t let a fact get in the way of their right wing rich guy bias, and those who still think there is any liberalism left in the dominant media, It was specifically NOT directed at those innumerable hard working underpaid local reporters who are just trying to do an important job with both some measure of integrity and dignity and often go under appreciated by raving loons like myself. If you can write a bitchin’ haiku, you can assume it was not directed at you. Just wanted to make that clear, as on my way home today it occured to me that I was painting with a fairly wide brush there, and that at least a couple of people that post on here are in fact reporters, and either of whom could probably kick my ass in a bar fight.

This just in from the LIBERAL MEDIA!!!!

USA Today has announced that one of its long time reporters has resigned from the paper and has been found to have fabricated stories, notably those involving terrorism and al-queda. The reporter, Jack Kelly, was a finalist for a Pulitzer prize and a speaker at the "Evangelical Press Association."

Also in today's Tennessean, an article that WTVF of Nashville ran a film provided by the Bush adminstration which simulated a news report but was in fact a PR film that touted the joys the republican medicare plan. WTVF was one of several stations around the country that fell for this ruse. Essentially, the film conned viewers into beleiving that the stations reporters had investigated the medicare scheme and found it to be wonderful, when in fact, it was all actors hired by the Bush adminstration.
This does not appear to violate the First Ammendment, as the Constitution allows the media the freedom to be stooges for Bush and Co if they so choose.

Between reporters fabricating terrorism stories and television stations being no more than mouth pieces for the right wing, one wonders if there are any media outlets that hold the public trust with any value anymore. As Tom Clancey said, "Why should I beleive you? You're a reporter."

To the tune of "The Spam Song"

Fuck fuck fuck fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck, lovely fffffuuuuuuccccckkkk, Wonderful fffffuuuuccccckkkkkkk, fuck fuck fuck fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck.......

and anyone who ever watched Monty Pythons Flying Circus will have that repeating in thier head for the rest of the day!

nixon mantra

fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

just think how wonderful life would be if the bush team took command of "the price is right"? besides bob barker getting unemployment for 4 years and then falling off the dole bc he couldnt find work and therefore no longer counting as unemployed, no contestant would ever loose technically: no faith based contestant left behind would kick in. and if they didn't die in Iraq they could come home and join the VFW.
the ladies who point at products would be indian chicks who would work for real cheap, sweet!
and as long as no one had to guess at the price of oil or natural gas, a few contestants might win valuable prices ...and Johnny could tell them all the details...

but seriously, if the fcc wants to get tough on four-letter words, why not start with

B U S H...

Fuck the FCC

I'm confused. Can't major networks now use fuck in dialogue as long as it's used as an adjective, not a verb? Wasn't that a recent decision? See below AP story.

?????

And it just continues to highlight why I have this love/hate relationship with, not just Christianity, but everything - because no one in power seems to realize that a religion based on categories like Use of profanity = hell fire and damnation; black/white; etc. is insane. My brain STILL tries to fit shit into these fucked-up packages. I fight it on a daily basis. But it's all o.k. because on my death bed I can always ask for forgiveness and "get saved" for the upteenth time. I tried to explain this to a very well-meaning woman at a bible study---the black/white, polarity problem with Christianity and how it butchers the psyche. I asked her if she could describe her personality in terms of this/that---happy/sad--etc. I tried to explain to these women that reality and people are full of "contradictions" and that it's all a language problem, nevermind getting into biblical translation of the original Greek and Hebrew.

They all just stared at me and I guess it suddenly "came clear" to them in their small minds why I'm "single and without children".

What about separation of church and state?

FCC cites Howard Stern and Bono for indecency
WASHINGTON (AP) — Federal regulators opened a new front in their crackdown on offensive broadcasts Thursday, saying that almost any use of the F-word on over-the-air radio and television would be considered indecent.
The Federal Communications Commission overruled its staff and said an expletive uttered by rock singer Bono on NBC was both indecent and profane. It marked the first time that the FCC cited a four-letter word as profane; the commission previously equated profanity with language challenging God’s divinity.
The FCC on Thursday also proposed maximum fines for the broadcast of the Howard Stern radio show and for a program on two Florida radio stations owned by a Clear Channel Communications subsidiary.

R.I.P.

One of the original MTV Veejays, J.J. Jackson, passed away last night of an apparent heart attack. He was 62 years old.
Very sad news.
Who knew that the wonderful thing that was MTV would turn into the horribly godawful piece of shit that it is now.
I have alot of fond memories of all the original veejays.
Rest In Peace, Mr. Jackson.

Bush/Kerry Tax contrasts

The Bush camp says that if Kerry is elected he will raise taxes by $900 billion.
Kerrys says if elected he will let end only the tax break given to those making over $200,000 a year. If we accept that both of these are true statements, (and there is really no reason to suppose anymore that Bush has ever told the truth about anything) then we are left with one unavoidable conclusion....

Bush cut taxes for those motherfuckers by 900 billion fucking dollars!!! I just can't believe that any body could be that irresponsible!! Fuck! We have a war on terrorism, a war on Iraq, crippling unemployment, and a myriad of other problems and these fuckers give the richest americans a 900 billion fucking dollar tax break!!! Maybe thats why the deficit has gone thru the fucking roof since these rocket scientists took office!! And these are the same rich fuckers that are sending jobs overseas to create even more unemployment.. fuck! (Did I scream fuck yet???)

Do these bastards hate America so much they want to fucking bankrupt it? Or do they hate children so much they want every dollar our children and grand children ever earn go towards paying these cheap fuckers fucking bills? cheap shit bastards....

Q - How do you make a clown stop laughing?
A - You hit him in the head with an axe.

Terrorists in our midst,,,,

We know now that according to the US Secratary of Education that the NEA is a terrorist group, We know that Laura Bush was a school librarian, and thus probably a NEA member. Please feel free to call The Department of Homeland Security and report this,,, except Roland,, you might not want to with your job and all....

Speaking of terrorists, it seems that after 9/11 the government quietly assisted certain Saudis in the US out of the country, even though americans were unable to fly at the time. Could it be because the Bin Ladens invested so heavily in George Bush's first business that this favor was done????

monkeytrials 3000- honest to jesus story

DAYTON, Tenn. — Rhea County commissioners unanimously voted to ask state lawmakers to introduce legislation amending Tennessee's criminal code so the county can charge homosexuals with crimes against nature.

We need to keep them out of here," said Commissioner J.C. Fugate, who introduced the motion.

County Attorney Gary Fritts also was asked by Fugate to find the best way to enact a local law banning homosexuals from living in Rhea County.

The Rhea County action came after the Senate Judiciary Committee (search) voted 7-1 Tuesday for a bill that would prohibit legal recognition of civil unions and domestic partnerships among homosexuals in Tennessee. Gay marriages already are prohibited in the state.

The state senator who represents Rhea County, Tommy Kilby, D-Wartburg, said Wednesday he hadn't seen the resolution and couldn't comment on it until he did.

"Yesterday in Judiciary Committee, they passed out a bill basically saying we will not recognize same-sex partnerships or civil unions from other states or foreign countries. I voted for that, and that's my position on that issue," Kilby said.

State Rep. Jim Vincent couldn't be reached for comment Wednesday.

Rhea County, about 30 miles north of Chattanooga, is among the most conservative in Tennessee. It holds an annual festival commemorating the 1925 trial that convicted John T. Scopes on charges of teaching evolution, a verdict thrown out by the Tennessee Supreme Court on a technicality. The trial later became the subject of the play and movie, "Inherit the Wind."

In 2002, a federal judge ruled unconstitutional the Rhea County school board's Bible Education Ministry...

okay, this would be funny if it was in Alabama or Georgia, but come on, Rhea County Tennessee?
Inherit Wind-Again?A SEQUEL!!!!!

I was fixing to order an ETSU ball cap to celebrate them making the NCAA basketball fuckfest, so i could spit in the eye of all these Kentucky fans around town (on bad hair days,) yeah, i am somebody, i paid very little for my education thank you very much. but , but nay, our second name is Tennessee. and our town is wall to wall homo's like a damn Dr. Suess book...what doesn't rhyme with gay?

Now I must pause and sort out the humanity. I once lived in chitown, I have seen the apartment of Clarence Darrow (from a CTA bus window, folks in chicago are unaware that we used to flatter ourselves and loose the rumor that our hovel was "little Chicago"). I wonder if Mr. Kilby eats a lot of radishes? Who will be the Mencken?
banjo fuckers...

He who is not Tony:

Think we're the only ones here?

Let's get saved, let's get real saved for a change!

"We ought to say we want results, we welcome results, and we're willing to fund programs that are capable of delivering results. We want to fund programs that save Americans, one soul at a time."

"Faith-based programs are only effective because they do practice faith. It's important for our government to understand that."

George Bush, from a speech at a church in New Orleans

Bush to visit Ft. Campbell

The news tonight says Bush is to visit 101st Airborne at Ft. Campbell and have lunch with the troops. One wonders if he will use this to make up for one of the days he owes for the year he deserted. And since he usually charges $2500 a plate to eat with him, I wonder if this is how Halliburton is planning to make up for the $300,000,000 the Pentagon is holding for over charges.....

Bush wants to know which world leaders think he should be replaced,,, If I were him, I'd ask the ones that heard the speech he gave at the UN......

The Bush Economy

Last year Natalie Maines dared to be critical of Bush. Immediately country radio stations dropped The Dixie Chicks from thier playlists and there were calls for boycotts by the Republican panties in a wad crowd. A feud ensued with other country musicians, most notably Toby Keith.

The ballots are in and the people have spoken. Last year The Dixie Chicks were the largest grossing act in country music at $39,200,000, beating out such notables as the aforementioned Toby Keith and yes, even Britney Spears (in fairness Britney took the year off to plan a wedding and generally conspire to get my attention.)

Anybody up for a Hindu fucking Rib Roast this spring/summer??

Doctors Remove Ashcroft's Gallbladder - By Richard B. Schmitt, Times Staff Writer

U.S. Atty. General John Ashcroft had his gallbladder removed today in a 90-minute procedure that doctors pronounced successful.

Ashcroft, 61, was hospitalized last Thursday with severe pancreatic inflammation caused by gallstones. Removal of the gallbladder — which stores and regulates bile — is the common treatment for his condition to avoid recurring blockages.

Bruce Abell, Ashcroft's surgeon at George Washington University Hospital, said the attorney general tolerated the laparoscopic procedure "very well," and was in "guarded" or "code blue" condition (aka tinky winky), which he said was expected.

"Long term, he should have a complete recovery," Abell said. "His 'gall' is still intact, but he is going to have to limit his fatty food intake."

So happy about reality t.v.

After recently getting 3 t.v. channels, I'm so amazed by the increased level of intelligence (i.e.a proclivity toward ignoring certain basic moral values) now available to Americans through "reality-based" television. I just love the thought that millions of viewers are encouraged daily to renounce such nasty qualities as altruism and compassion by watching shows like Average Joe. It's such a great way to reinforce a Republican, "Christian" agenda. I mean, I just can't stop smiling and had to share. Thank you.

damn you hillbilly
banjo-fucking hog wallows!
cannot rhyme or dance!

sorry, pride kills but i just couldnt submerge this one.

note to Bill: i am sure some one in east tennesse has figr'd out how to copulate a banjo by now. they may even have a major in it at etsu by now, they probably call it "time arts" or "eastern mysticism" or "creationjism"

Capitolists write
Dog Haiku, while the workers
toil - The Beef People

domestic seen

extra coffee grounds
in pot, a second
second scoop - still weak

waiting for the hair to dry
curlers pull - be-yoing!
not worth being late

microwave zip zap another
fucking frozen thing
hate my life - yours, too

lay down, want to sleep
crashdoorslamdumbbitch
neighbors are at it again

high coo

time to time these things flare up
blisters on the blog
time for cooling salve

had to reread textbook - damn
it's seven five five
darn highschool haiku

Passion of Crust

Has anyone been to mcdonalds to purchase the "passion of christ" cheeseburger happy meal yet? mine came with a thorny crown, but it's too small for my head. My son's had temporary tattoo stigmata's, which he knew would come off in the bathtub, so we traded. My daughter was torn between the mcCrucifix locket and the poseable miniature barbieMagdaline. (She eventually settled for Maggie and promptly lost the sandals in the cushions of the couch.)

next subject. speaking of jOHN cAGE. I received a Heritage Foundation Grant to compile a list of the many splendor things that have initials "JC". I'll start the easy ones: Jesus Christ, Johnson City, Johnny Cash, June Carter Cash, Jimmy Carter, John Cale, Jimmy Connors (of Tennis), Juan Carlos (of Spain, and Tennis!)...

this can continue in the comments box (one per) and when we get above a hun'erd i'll forward them to Drew Bond*, Chief of Staff, and Assistant to Heritage President Edwin J. Feulner, and foundling of Edwin Meese III, the Ronald Reagan Distinguished Fellow in Public Policy and Chairman, Center for Legal and Judicial Studies.



*From Mr. Bond's bio: "Bond earned his bachelor’s degree in history from the University of Oklahoma in 1993; and he displays it proudly. He is the first in his family to ever graduate from college."